One of the many focuses of distress for our families can be their understandable concern for the other children in the family. While only one child may be being treated for an eating disorder, the entire family is impacted.

Parents are rightfully concerned that their other children may be left behind, and at Kartini Clinic so are we. This is also a concern shared by our colleagues who treat children with other major illnesses such as cancer.

What are the concerns we often hear expressed by parents for their child’s siblings?

1. the demands of an eating disorder program may mean that parents are focusing all their energy on the ill child to the detriment of their siblings

2. sporting events and school functions for their siblings may be missed

3. siblings may resent having their household food routines turned on their heads

4. children may fear for a sibling in treatment and not know how to say so

5. they may be afraid that their brother or sister is so sick they may die and be afraid to ask

6. they may worry about their parents

7. they may perceive their parents as more stressed and fighting more

8. they may be worried about the strain on the family’s finances

9. they may worry when they see their parents have to skip work

10. they may resent their sibling with an eating disorder and feel intensely guilty about doing so

11. they may have no one to ask about their fears and concerns

12. they may not understand eating disorders

To begin to address some of these issues, we have started a group for siblings of our patients. The group is run by Dena Wilder, our movement therapist. Dena is available during this group to help answer questions, facilitate discussion among the chidlren, provide an opporunity to share feelings but most importantly, to have a little fun in the process.

Siblings’ group is being offered to coincide with Parents’ group and dinner on the milieu, so extra transportation is not required for parents whose child is in the Kartini DTU. It was primarily conceived for children who are in DTU or hospital, but outpatient parents who have similar concerns can contact us about possibly being included. There is a small cash fee ($20) for each session.

We’d love to hear from our readers about their own concerns or those expressed to them by siblings not in treatment for an eating disorder. After all, eating disorder treatment for children means considering the impact of treatment on the entire family.