Publishing a letter from a grateful parent might strike some as self-serving but I’m putting this one out there anyway because I believe that all of us, but especially our parents of kids who are struggling, need occasionally to see “the light at the end of the tunnel.”
And what a light it is!
I recently received this letter with a few pictures. I was amazed to see the pictures of this young man, once thin, pale and hunched over with a shock of golden blond hair over his face, now grown: strong, well developed, broad shouldered and getting on with his life as a scholar and athlete. Of course you will hear his mother thank us profusely but, in truth, it was her pitbull determination and years of ongoing support and watchfulness that gave her the result all parents deserve. Most of you will not be surprised to know that a mama grizzly can save her own cub (and beware to anything and anyone who stands in the way)!
So here it is; I hope it brings light and hope to all of you who may be struggling at the moment:
“Dear Dr. O’Toole and all Kartini:
From now until eternity, every Valentine’s Day will be the day I spend remembering a phone conversation that saved me and helped me save my son. My guardian angel, Steve, your voice is as clear as if God himself spoke to me. I can hear you now: “anorexia loves the heart.” I shudder to think, if I had not gotten that call on that day, what my life would be like today. I know you saved me.
Dr. O’Toole, you were so confident, so loving and so sure our boy could recover. You were easy to trust implicitly with his life. Everything I know about anorexia I learned from you, in hindsight. You and your staff gave our son and me the tools to continue his recovery at home and he has recovered. Hallelujah.
We have a support group here in our town: “Stay Strong ——“. We meet once a month to help other families. It is amazing how many children suffer from eating disorders and how uninformed the local doctors still are. We do our best to explain the current science and offer resources – “Have your child evaluated by an eating disorder expert.” Some come in with a young athlete whose resting heart rate is somewhere around 38 and their doctor told them – “Well your daughter is an athlete, that’s why her heart rate is so low.” I speak with them, I hand out Benecalorie, I explain how “anorexia loves the heart.” You saving me has allowed me to save our own son and help other parents who remind me of myself in those first few terrifying weeks.
I hope you were able to recognize him from the picture I sent – I don’t have too many. He still plays US Academy Soccer. He is a junior in high school and doing well. He doesn’t think he will play soccer at a D1 school. He’s thinking of retiring after high school. I remind him everyone retires from soccer at some point. He continues to be well and his brother is finally re-finding his place in our family again and Dad is making up for lost time – he bought a boat and they will all get their captains’ licenses before summer. Today they are off school and work and have taken off for a day of skiing. Some days I can’t believe how blessed we are. Kartini saved our entire family. We are deeply grateful.
With much love and gratitude every single day.”
And we are deeply grateful to them for sharing this story with us. But mom and dad deserve the credit. And of course the boy who grew to be a man.
